Message Board Hell: Weird Posts from Cyberspace

Keep You Intrigued

I CAN'T BELEIVE THIS I LOVE THIS SHOW.EVERY WEEK I LOOKED FORWARD TO WATCHING IT.YOU HAVE SOME OF THE MOST STUPIDEST SHOWS ON AND YOU TAKE OFF THE ONES THAT KEEP YOU INTRIGUED.TRY TO FIGURE THAT OUT

Posted on Jan 13th 2009
From comments re: the recent cancellation of the Fox drama "Prison Break."

Bar Tab

Subject: Bar tab.
Date: 7/28/2007 8:43 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single

malt scotches and has the bartender line them up in front of him.

Then, without pausing, he downs each one.

"Wow," says the bartender, "you seem to be in a hurry."

"You would be, too, if you had what I have."

"What do you have?" the bartender synpathetically asks.

"Fifty cents."

From a joke board.

Addicted To Size

Subject: A BIG ONE
Date: 7/27/2007 5:30 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

My wife has mentioned she would like to try a big one 9inches plus i have no problem with that. so what do you think would she become addicted to it or what, is it that good for you girls to feel full feed back please.

From a women's board.

Into the Realm Of Nausea

Subject: Re: annoyingggg.
Date: 7/22/2007 3:55 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>curious, what are some songs that really irk you all?

i'd say anything by jethro tull, but the negative feelings i have towards their music go beyond being annoyed and into the realm of nausea.

Posted on a music board.

80's Music

Subject: 80S MUSIC
Date: 7/16/2007 6:22 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE 80s MUSIC!!!!!! Pat Benatar is my favorite 80s artist. I love her two songs "Love Is A Battlefield" and "Invincible". And I love a few songs from "The Breakfast Club" and "I've Had The Time Of My Life" from "Dirty Dancing" And I love the song "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi. And then I like a few songs from Billy Joel, Elton John, and Paula Abdul.

Found on a teen board.

Cobblers!

Subject: Jordans Baby Name
Date: 7/25/2007 5:40 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Princess Tiaamii

This is from the woman/blow-up doll who said she wouldn't be giving her baby a silly name!!!

Cobblers!!!

Discovered on an entertainment news board.

Boring Beckhams

Subject: Boring Beckhams
Date: 7/16/2007 11:50 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I was hoping that when the Beckhams moved to LA we would hear less of them not more. What a boring pair of dorks they are.

From a British message board.

Stay Single

Subject: Stay single
Date: 7/28/2007 5:32 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

If when in a relationship one partner,or maybe even both are continuosly questioning if its right, chances are its not. Being with someone should be a pleasure,not an endless pain in the neck.

Found on an advice board.

Hurt and Mistrust

Subject: Re: Do ALL Men Cheat ??
Date: 7/6/2007 9:25 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Hi, I have confronted the woman who's # was on his cell. I asked her if her name was "Ava"? SHe said yes, I said" I understand u know my husband, I saw ur number on his cell, how do u know him"? she says to me" I bring my truck to his dad's shop all the time, i know dietrich and his dad" I asked her then, I didn't catch ur last name hun, I dont recall them mentioning u as a customer" she then tells me """" It's none of ur business what my last name is"

Excuse ME??????? How rude is that? I was TRYING to be friendly and not sound like a bitch, and she gave me attitude, so....I told her, to step off and leave him alone, he is a married man/ father and to find someone else......to this day, I still see her # on his phone, but her calling him, haven't seen Him call her, not yet atleast. I haven't said anything else to him, that i know she still calls him, I dont want us to fight anymore...... If he admitted to it, sure I would be upset, but i would get passed it and work on our marriage. so he dont go elsewhere, but he just denies it all. I'm being strong, but i know what I feel is hurt and mistrust.....

Found on a relationships board. Names have been changed.

A Recurring Dream

Subject: A recurring dream
Date: 7/31/2007 7:38 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I have this recurring dream.

I dream that I am out grocery shopping. I'm wearing my extra short little red leather mini skirt. I'm wearing it high and tight. As I push my cart through the vegetable section, the asparagus aisle to be exact, a 6 foot tall mosquito jumps out from behind the asparagus and sticks his thing in me and starts to vibrate. What does this recurring dream mean ?

Thank You

Ellen

From a "rants and raves" board. Name has been changed.

Rule Of...Thumb?

Subject: a rule of thumb
Date: 7/21/2007 10:30 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

did you all know that a woman with a big mouth and big lips..has a BIG pussy........ for sure!!!!!!!!

Found on a "rants and raves" board.

The Ease Of a 17th Birth

Subject: Re: The Duggars welcome their 17th...
Date: 8/3/2007 10:22 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>How many times can the uterus stretch and contract before it just fizzles out like a balloon losing air?

By #17, I bet all she needs to do is lift a leg a little and fart.

From DISI.

It Looks Nice, Doesn't It, Dear?

Subject: Re: 1000 posts is just plain ridicu...
Date: 7/29/2007 1:56 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>We don't give gifts. We get each other a card and go out for dinner at a nice restaurant.

My folks have been married more than 50 years. They've been paring down on clutter, sorting the photos & gettiing rid of a bunch, putting the rest in albums, etc. Now instead of buying each other a card, they go to the card shop, each pick out a card and show each other, put them back and go home.

Discovered on a debate board.

How To Tell If You've Grown Up

Subject: How to Tell if You have Grown Up
Date: 7/29/2007 1:49 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

This really made me laugh. Most of them really are right up there with the truth, except #23, of course. LOL Although, with #25 -- I'd be going oh S*$# if it happened to me. LOL Otherwise... yeah I'm old!! LOL But all I needed was to ask my eldest -- didn't need a list to tell me that!

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S*$# what the hell happened?"
And An extra one for fun!

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

From DISI.

From Merely Sad to Frightening

Subject: Re: Child-free housing
Date: 7/25/2007 4:17 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>About the closet I can come to what you are saying is a child about 4 years old was running like an >idiot in Wal Mart one day, right towards me, break neck speed, right before he got to me, I put my >metal shopping cart in his path, WHAMMM, after the blood curdling scream and bawling stopped and >"mother" could finally pick him up, I bet she kept him with her from then on. I don't know though as I >immediatedly withdrew my cart and continued shopping.

Here we go, Darren. Your original post about the cart. This looks to me like assault with intent to cause bodily harm. You could have stepped out of the way. You chose to injure the child. I must not have got to this post yet, as I hadn't seen it before, but it wasn't hard to find using the search. As I said before, the desire to not interact with children isn't the sad part. Your case looks more and more like unbridled hatred and is moving from merely sad to frightening.

Found on a debate board. Name has been changed.

You Might Be Watching Too Much Ramsey If...

Subject: Re: watching too much ramsey?
Date: 7/13/2007 10:55 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

oh, that did not turn out at all! copy and paste from my earlier thoughts did not work!

here goes another try:

you might be watching too much Grr if:

-you say ohh *$#@ me under your breath when things are messing up.

-your friend's grill is starting to burn and you bark at them to SHUT IT DOWN!

- you are at a party and you are served a bad dish. you make sure the host is wearing said dish on their chest screaming it tastes like poodle $#!&.

- at the grocery store you pass on the strawberries for not being fresh and instead of walking away you scream at the nearest stock boy "WTF were you thinking, it's ranciiid!"

please feel free to add to the list!

Posted on a women's board.

Pardon Me Queen Twatwaffle

Subject: Re: Menopause anyone?
Date: 7/23/2007 8:25 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>Exactly, Isobel is the reason a lot of "seasoned" wives stay the hell away
>from wives groups.

>interesting. it's my fault wives stay away from wives
>groups? i never ever joined a freaking 'wives' group.

Pardon me Queen Twatwaffle ... its folks of the female gender who act as Isobel does about Military life ... who keep seasoned wives away from wives groups.
Better now? I thought so.
Have a good day!

From DISI. Name has been changed.

The Sow For Tension

Subject: Melissa a "plant" actress
Date: 7/5/2007 3:50 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I think Melissa is an actress ...;put on the sow for "tension' Makes no sense that Ramsey did NOT yell at her for her hair being all over the food.

I taped the show and during prep you can see her hair hanging all over the place ...then pulled back and magically falling all over the food again...back and forth. The editing staff should be fired for letting that slip by.

You have to wonder if a customer is REALLY a customer or just an actress or actor hired to walk up an complain about the food.

The first season was fun.....this season and last are very predictable. Pathetic.

Anyone else agree or disagree? The whole mellissa thing does NOT make sense

Found on a fan board for the tv show "Hell's Kitchen."

The Saga of Jenn

Subject: Re: 23/f/long island. wanna chat
Date: 7/21/2007 11:54 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

In 1876, a young
girl
named Jenn was walking down a river, an
insane man killed her by stabbing her in
the
back, raping her, and then hanging her in
his closet. Now that you have read this
message, she will haunt your house for 5
years. Every night when you go to sleep she
will appear in your closet, hanging their
with her glowing red eyes. repost 3 times
to
be saved.

From Tattoo Nation.

But Remember...

Subject: Re: weekend
Date: 7/19/2007 1:06 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>And you don't understand that an opinion based on well-no experience is less valid....

You're still not getting it and I'm done with explaining it to you, because you never think anyless of yourself. So it doesn't matter what we say, you still think better of yourself. But remember, its all in your head.

Later.

Uli

Found on a debate board. Name has been changed.

Woman's Best Friend

Subject: I miss .....
Date: 7/14/2007 3:58 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Can someone please be there for me at any time during the day or night that I need a hug or a kiss or a laugh? Can someone please watch me dress and undress without the tiniest bit of judgment in their eyes? Can someone please ' feel ' when I am sad, happy, scared and want to share that feeling with me? Can someone please have absolute adoration for me and all of my faults and weaknesses without exception?

I miss my puppy. :-(

Teresa
.~*^*~.,,.~*^*~.

Found on a parenting board. Name has been changed.

Every Now and Again

Subject: Re: hi
Date: 7/6/2007 8:54 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

CONGRATULATIONS to Rita, Abe and the man in her life.

I'm trying to get back into the swing of things too,

but my computer has been taken over by my son.

I get to see it every now and again.

This happens to be an again.

~ Honora ~

From the Tattoo Nation message board. Names have been changed.

Handy Trek Credit Exchange

Subject: Re: Sharing the good news with manki...
Date: 6/26/2007 7:29 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I haven't seen the "re-CGI" you speak of -- I've only seen TOS on TV and via VHS. I'm hoping to buy the series -- and more Trek, of course, naturally later -- on DVD now.

One of the best all-time bloopers in all Trek is in the 5th season TNG episode Unification Part II where Picard, Data and Spock are taken prisoner and are held captive in the office of Commander Sela (Denise Crosby). Our heroes formulate a plan of action and when it looks like Riker and an away team have beamed into the room it's a delaying tactic by means of hologram. Serves just long enough to distract their attention and then Data emerges and gives Sela the Vulcan Nerve Pinch at which point she faints and collapses (Spock remarks, "Not bad!") and, sadly, exits Trek history seemingly forever (BOO! HISS!).

Now as the camera pans across the room following their exit, you'll notice a pyramid-shaped device on Sela's desk. Very reflective. And, if you can pause the tape or disc, you'll notice that, looking into the thing from another angle, off to the side, is a man wearing glasses and chewing bubble gum!

Cost of trip to Romulus: $5,000 Federation Credits
Soup meal on Homeworld: $10 Cardassian Leks
"Piggybacking" message: $245 Klingon Darseks
Betting Sela will re-emerge someday: $1,000,000 Triskelion Quatloos
Seeing image of man with glasses and bubble gum in reflective stand: PRICELESS

Some things in Trek are beyond any cost. For the rest, there's your handy credit exchange. ;-)

Anna

Found on a religion board. Name has been changed. No Tribbles were harmed in the making
of this post.

The Kinfolk Said, Hey, Beat the Heck Out Of the Chef

Subject: The B-word?
Date: 7/3/2007 9:09 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

chef Ramsey must be a great actor or a nasty man, either way some people belive it's ok, to call women a four legged dog. If that was me, my kin folk's would come out of the hill's and whip the heck out of him.

Posted on a fan site for the tv show "Hell's Kitchen."

Wise Words Indeed

Subject: Re: What would you say
Date: 7/1/2007 12:28 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Two things I stay out of. Peoples bedrooms and peoples finances.

~Lucinda~

From DISI. Name has been changed.

A Princess Out Of Control

Subject: Re: Hypocrite?
Date: 6/30/2007 4:37 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

>In lurking on some of the parenting boards, I have seen that it is becoming very commonplace for >women to throw a baby shower for themselves. Now I think THAT is tacky.

Very tacky, but rules of ettiquette seem to have gone out a window somewhere. A friend of my daughter's gave herself a babyshower. Nobody came. She then put a very nasty blog on her my space about how wounded she was. After the baby was born, she was calling people berating them because they didn't bring food to her family so she wouldn't have to cook after just having given birth. She called and cried to my daughter and asked her to cook something and bring it over. DD told her, "my baby is 3 weeks old and I don't remember you bringing me casseroles." DD had sense enough to cook things ahead and freeze them so they could be heated up without too much trouble.

This is the same young woman who insisted that her EX husband take off work to pick up their two older children from school and bring them to her ultra-sound. Apparently the new husband could not do it because she needed him to hold her hand all the way to the doctor's office. This is a princess out of control.

Discovered on a women's board.

Harassment and Ridiculeor

Subject: Mad World SOS
Date: 6/29/2007 4:57 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Probably not the best place for my message, but I don't want to discriminate...despite what the SC just ruled.

Hello there! This SOS comes to you from one of the long-term posters on a message board called; XXXX.

Actually, XXXX was (was, that is) an open forum board and any topic was fair game: humor (real humor), politics, current events, personal problems, advice, and so on. There were at any given time in the last four years Ive been on XXXX, about 25-30 fairly regular posters with some leaving and some newcomers staying on. It really was a fun place.and informativeand useful at times (How do I change a light fixture? Whos the best mortgage lender?).

But one of the longest members of XXXX, steadily posting every day Wakeuplittlesuzy(now aint that name just too cute for words?) insisted that XXXX was a humor board, even though the word is not mentioned in the title. And she has continuously pushed for it to become a humor board exclusively, railing against political discussions or any topic not to her liking.

But Suzys humor was/is not real humor, but her brand of what she calls humor. For about the first couple years, Suzys every postevery posthad some cutesy reference to cats. It got so that you had to pop a Dramamine to go on line to XXXX so you wouldnt puke all over your keyboard from another of Suzys humorous cat posts. Finally, after maybe some 18 months and complaints not to be counted, she got the message...but shifted to something worseher continued push for humor.

What Suzy calls humor is absolutely nothing more than her personal chat room with chat room nonsense as might be expected from a gaggle of giggling schoolgirls (she has two in particularSondra and Tisha I have termed the BRAT SQUAD). These three will often post exclusively 20-30 posts, one after the other, in a couple of hoursby them aloneexchanging what they construe as humor but what you would term as nothing more than inane, insipid chat room chatter. They make anemic, dreadful attempts at humorous chatand youre expected to guffaw and applaud at their keen wit. They commonly do this right in the middle of an interesting discussion, killing it.

Suzy, you see, wants to run XXXX to fulfill her every personal wish and comfort, any other idea by anyone else notwithstanding.

Lurkers or newbies who offer fresh blood and interest are given a welcome only until they read BRATs humor, and then must leave to stick their heads in a commode for reliefor are driven off through harassment and ridiculeor simply leave from BRATs terminal boredom. Strategies for maintaining the status quo are made by Suzy colluding with her goons through emails away from XXXXon how to get rid of this or that person, or whom to ignore and so forth. Real sleazy back-stabbing stuff. And she has enough sympathizers to effect some measure of success.

SoI am appealing to anyone/everyone to come to XXXX and bring your zany stories or your humor or whatever it is thats the current stone in your shoe, and help reclaim this cool message board back to where it was by drowning out the BRAT packor at least posting a comment with a potential for some interestand dumping that stinking chat room crap. Put in a private chat room, BRAT would have nothing to say to one another. They need an audience to appreciate their humor to survive. There are still enough real people here for a broad range of experiences.

I appear on XXXX as XXXX, but my real handle is XXXX expect to see a good many arrows fired in my direction. HINT: Dont miss posts by the Grann, DJ, Zorah, or ABBY (and maybe a few others). Beware of the BRAT squad (Suzy-Sondra-Tisha). XXXX posts from his room in the asylum when hes off his meds and manages to get out of his restraints and onto a computer in the nurses station.

Thank you for reading my entreatyand please drop by and help. Then stay and post. XXXX is elusive to find. I couldnt find it using another of my XXXX names but you can get there by clicking on this web site, which is safe, no viruses and all that. Thereafter, click keyword and then type in my boards to go there directlyand thanks to all.

Found on a women's board. Names have been changed, ISP's, emails and message board names have been X'd out.

On Weddings

Subject: More on weddings
Date: 6/22/2007 2:36 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I've been to a fair number of weddings in my day, and--by and large--the bride was always radiant, the parents always cried, the flowers always looked beautiful, and the cake was amazing...no matter how much money was spent.

However, what *seemed* to make the difference, to really, truly make for a memorable day for all concerned, was not the expenditures (or lack thereof) but the *passion* and *enthusiasm* of the wedding couple and their guests...and their ability to kick back and have a great time.

I've been to High Society weddings (when my father officiated) held at Country Clubs, with champagne fountains, small orchestras, and god knows how many guests....but quite a few of those were stiff, dull functions (especially if the Father of the Bride was "paying back" business associates) and one memorably expensive extravaganza produced a divorce just 18 months later.

I've been to really, really thrifty, homemade weddings, and some of those were real duds. My best friend from high school--a little hillbilly gal from West Virginia--did her blue collar best to IMITATE a fancy weddding (she sewed all the bridesmaids gowns and her dress, herself. Jeez!), her mother and she made the "pastel mints in the wedding colors" and so forth and so on....BUT they couldn't relax. The reception was in the church basement, with NO MUSIC (that's where I'd have spent my cash; not on color-coordinated bunting for the pews) and a lot of awkward people uncomfortable in their SundayGoToMeetingClothes, sitting like statues on folding chairs, waiting for a piece of cake and a mint, "behaving themselves." Bleah.

On the other hand, I've seen Big Shows that still lacked soul :our landlord's daughter, years ago, threw a big wedding by small town standards--expensive dress, lots of bridesmaids, flowers everywhere, stupid gewgaws meant to awe and impress ( like glowing, a seven-tiered punch fountain in changing colors...I felt like I was supposed to toss in pennies and make a wish! ;-) but so utterly, utterly stiff and devoid of joy as to be, literally, painful. All the gifts---which arrived so beautifully wrapped--were stripped of their wrappings and laid out in long lines for inspection, down the hall to the reception. God, that was tacky! We had to sit forEVER in the church, as her "ushers" came and led one row after another downstairs to yet more folding chairs, were several hundred people sat like hungry birds waiting for their opportunity to shuffle through the buffet line for a bite to eat....No music, just Gew Gaws and bad food. Ugh.

On the other hand, my sister's wedding was relatively expensive, but done with passion and style. She got married in a rose garden in XXXX and then had a sit-down dinner for 100 people at a *very* elegant Italian Restaurant, nearby. There was an open bar, delicious hor d'ourves pressed upon one by gorgeous waiters, a huge, designer CHOCOLATE wedding cake....and a real band that played for hours. What made it so great, though, was the joy and fun: the dinner speeches were Oscar-winning performances of wit and humor, the bride and groom were focused on EACH OTHER instead of on their appearance, and we all took off our shoes--from toddlers to oldies--and danced the night away. Rock on! :-)

Yolanda

Found on a parenting board. Name has been changed, city has been X'd out.

Mythical Rules of ISP's

Subject: Thank you AOL!
Date: 6/25/2007 3:45 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Just wanted to take the time to thank XXXX for taking a vibrant active board, and turning it into a billboard

for spam, which they do NOTHING about.

Navigating through the junk, scams and just outright

crud makes this board one I rarely visit anymore.

I am finding myself spending less time on XXXX, and

I am increasingly thankful that I am no longer a paying customer for the cruddy level of customer service,

including the application of the mythical Terms of Service forbidding the posting of spam. They don't keep it out of my mailbox, and now it is invading the boards, with no ramifications whatsoever.

So thanks XXXX, for making it easier for people to drop themselves from your list of paying customers.

Now I am off to sell my stocks in XXXX before they bottom out due to lowered earnings.

Found on a debate board. ISP name has been X'd out.

Ass Scratchers: We Can See You

Subject: Why do ppl
Date: 6/23/2007 12:55 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time

Think they can't be seen? There was a woman online ahead of me in Target today. She had her hand down the back of her pants and was fiercly scratching her ass.......like nobody was in the building with her...........WTH?
I can't even tolerate the driving nose pickers..........this one just shot me over the edge.........

Nina

Posted on DISI. Name has been changed.

Please Read

I am taking a short blog break. I have some stuff going on in real life that I must tackle before I can tackle Message Board Hell.

For a longer explanation, please see my blog The Zen Pretzel Trick.

Thank you.

---Zen Angel

No Fan of "Supernanny"

Subject: Re: Supernanny tonight!
Date: 3/13/2007 7:47 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time

I was and still am, HORRIFIED by that whole episode. Jo Frost is no expert in my book. That woman coldly performed, what I can only describe as commando weaning techniques on that poor little girl. That was offensive. Poor little one crying it out, with the family celebrating when she finally cried herself to sleep. Trying to wean a 14 month old onto a BOTTLE?? Telling mom to stop holding her baby?? I am getting ready to email ABC with a HUGE complaint letter over that episode. That was disgusting. That was the last Supernanny episode I will ever watch.

Discovered on a debate board.

The Beauty of Life

Subject: Re: So, WOW!! Is it always this quiet???
Date: 3/8/2007 4:18 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

I had typed out two long separate replies and each time aol disconnected and lost each..grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I sat back and read this stuff and I wasn't going to answer. I have a lot going on here and it's really zapping my energy, however, I did not like the name calling going on.

I have been a regular on this board for over four years I consider the regulars here my TN Family.

I seriously almost lost it when Rita was insulted not once but twice. That was just the icing to make me post.

Helen,

You made your beliefs known over and over and say how you will never change your mind yet, you can't understand how others with differing opinions feel the same about theirs.

Rita, is an amazing person with a big kind heart. If you took the time to know her she would tell you about grape pie. It's really worth asking about.

Harriet, is someone I know I can count on for prayer. She also got me addicted to playing Native American Flutes.

Sara, is a somebody that makes me see things from a different view point. I would definitely want her to have my back.

Nadine, Is my partner in crime on the 6wbmo. She happens to have one of the most beautiful families on the planet.

Janet, Has a huge heart for her friends and family and the plight of animals. Her commitment to greyhound rescue is beautiful. Plus, she is a kick in the pants!

I could go on and on about each one here.

Do I believe in everything these people do, no. Do I think they believe in everything I believe it, no way. We do however, know how to agree to disagree when needed.

I have a core of beliefs that will not change, however, I have learned a lot from others views and experiences.

That is the beauty of life. Everyone is different in good and bad ways. You have to look deeper in some to see the beauty but, when you do it's probably the best prize of all.

Okay, that's all..I hope I finally get to post this time. LOL

Lena

From Tattoo Nation. Names have been changed.

Female Problems vs. Health Problems

Subject: Re: tap/bottled water
Date: 3/7/2007 4:53 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>That's good. But why would a "totally healthy adult" would need a hysterectomy, though? A hysterectomy >wouldn't be performed a "totally healthy adult".

That is considered a "female problem" , not a health problem. Many extremely healthy women have had hysterectomies.

Nellie.......

Posted on a breast vs. bottle debate board. Name has been changed.

Lights the Fuze

Subject: 764 Posts In Re The White Throne Nonsense
Date: 3/5/2007 3:32 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

As if that nonsense is going to keep you safe, when George W. Bush lights the fuze to blow up the world.

Found on a religion board.

Beyond Impotent

Subject: Re: HEY JIM BOB
Date: 3/4/2007 12:12 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

> Plus if you don't water it here it won't grow. Most of these guys are
>impotent in real life.

I believe he is beyond impotent, I think he is a homosexual who doesn't have the cojones to come out of the closet, he has probably been bullied all his life, because of his effeminate characteristics and therefore his only outlet, where he can feel tough is here on these boards. He has no clue about the truth of his own religion, as he is so obviously not a christian, not a very good one anyways, has no clue about life, and has no clue about just how badly his lily white a** would be kicked if he actually went in front of a group of any minority and mouthed off like he does here (his poor little hole is probably puckering with fear right now just thinking about it!). To make himself seem big, he talks big, his weapons of choice (in his fantasies of course) are guns, the bigger and older the more impressed he thinks you will be. Unfortunately for him, no one here is impressed, just disgusted that humans, unlike some insects, don't eat their young, cuz he is one runt that definitely shouldn't have been allowed to live.

Posted on a Native American board. Name has been changed.

Supporters of Impotent Fools

Subject: Re: The peaceful majority
Date: 3/3/2007 8:39 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

THANKS FOR POSTING THIS AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THESE NEGATIVE RATINGS,EITHER IT IS ONE MENTAL VOID,OR TEN IGNORANT LIBERALS WHO JUST DON'T GET IT,IT MATTERS NOT. I FOUND HAYNE'S THINKING TO BE EXACTLY ON THE MONEY,HIS PARALLELS TO OTHERS THAT HAVE FOLLOWED THE "SILENCE OF THE LAMBS",SO TO SPEAK,IS NOTHING BUT FACTUAL AND THERE IS SOMETHING DEFINITELY WRONG WITH THE BILLION OR SO MUSLIMS WHO HAVE'NT UTTERED A FREAKEN "PEEP" ABOUT THE COWARDLY MUTANTS THAT HAVE CAUSED SO MUCH INNOCENT BLOOD---I SAY,SCREW ISLAM AND UNTILL THEY GET IT RIGHT AND REIGN IN THESE MURDERERS,I WILL HAVE NO USE OR RESPECT FOR THOSE THAT PRAY 6 TIMES A DAY,WITH THEIR BACKS TO THE WEST,THEIR PRAYERS FALL ON DEAF EARS------------IT IS ABOUT TIME WE START PUTTING THIS RELIGION IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS THE SATANICS AND START PUBLIC HANGINGS OF THESE JIADISTS,THAT WILL END THEIR INSANE RANTS AND THEN BRING ON SOME MORE----EVENTUALLY WE WILL RUN OUT OF NECKS TO NOOSE,OR ROPE---BUT IT WILL DISRUPT THEIR CHILD BEARING YEARS-------AND FOR THOSE THAT DISPUTE ME OR THIS ARTICLE,I COULD CARE LESS,I PROFILE PEOPLE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND HAVE DONE MY DUTY EVER SINCE 9-11----BTW,SCREW THE "TRAMP",OBAMA,EDWARDS AND ANY OTHER PASSIVE LEFTIST---YOU SUPPORTERS OF THESE IMPOTENT FOOLS ARE'NT ABOUT TO TAKE ME DOWN THE ROAD TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE!

From DISI.

Howler Monkeys on Crack

Subject: Re: How much trouble might I be in now?
Date: 3/1/2007 6:06 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>>I don't expect to be a priority when a mother has a small child she is
>caring for.
>
>I think if someone calls you and you can't talk to them without playing with
>the kids, or talking to the kids, then you should excuse yourself and talk on
>the phone later when the kids aren't interfering with your conversation. I
>don't think anyone expects to take priority over someone's kids, but if some
>accepts your phone call, I think you should be able to expect to have a
>conversation unimpeded by playing/talking with kids.

I agree. I tell my son all the time that when I'm on the phone, he needs to go play in his room. He only listens about 50% of the time. He is 8 years old. When will it sink in? When *should* it sink in? I've actually had to hang up when it got to the point where I coudn't hear the OP because of my son. And last night, my neigbhors were visiting while I was having my nightly phone conversation with a mentor, and my son and the other boy were so loud. I really wanted to tell my friend to take her son home, but I needed her help clearing a path to my back bed room because I got a bed today. It seems like I can't win. My son I can give a negative consequence to; I can't do anything about the other child. I haven't had a cigarette in 8 years, but I want one every time this kid leaves my apartment. My son and his friend together are definitely a couple of howler monkeys on crack. I am not kidding. And it is not funny.

Posted on a debate board.

Seriously Warning You

Subject: Re: adults only dining
Date: 2/27/2007 5:20 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

I know that several of you do not like Anna, but I post with several of you on the Childfree board & get along with most everyone on the CF board. Anna is right about the Edith poster. She *IS* a troll. She stalks people through e-mail & when filtered she changes screen names AD NASEUM to get past filters. She is also TOSed, basically, weekly & has had no less than 10 new names in the past few months. She explicitly wished death on another child's poster & repeatedly tells a mother whose child has behavioral problems that she needs to deal with her "psycho kid." She uses the term retard to describe disabled people & has been outted on countless lies. I had a SERIOUS accident last summer & almost died as result. She told my sister, who also posts on the other board, that I deserved to die b/c I was too stupid to know how to use oven cleaner that others use everyday without issue. She brags about being a nudist & allows her boyfriend to parade around naked in front of her 13 year old daughter & vice versa. She is vile to the core. She has been filtered & filtered & filtered & gets around them by changing screen names or sending harassing & threatening e-mails.

While most of you are correct that she should just be filtered if she bothers someone, be careful. Do not fall for her line of BS. No one calls her Edie & the other posters from PH are not the issue. She is. Her name is Edith & she has been a troll on several boards including Child Support & Custody Issues, StepMoms & PH. People have known her as a troll for YEARS under MANY screen names. Feel free to converse with her. Your choice. Just be careful about the information you share with her & be forewarned. And FTR, Anna & I are hardly friends, so I did not take the time to write this in Anna's defense. I am seriously warning you since I post with many of you on other boards.

*\l/**\l/*
*\l/**\l/**\l/**\l/*
Yvonne
*\l/**\l/**\l/**\l/*

From a debate board. Names have been changed.

Grandpa and His Unfortunate Odor

Subject: Re: ANNOYING COMMERCIALS
Date: 2/20/2007 9:43 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>I agree the caveman ones are the WORST...as are ANYTHING with that creepy
>fricken BK King!! I'd kill that dude if i woke up to him at my window, or God
>forbid, in bed with me -

>Doesn't he look like a giant King Friday from Mr. Roger's Neighborhood?

OMG, he totally does! Why they made him so creepy and still is beyond me, it reminds me of some sinister puppet like from that flick "Magic" - just wrong on so many levels!!

You mentioned below the Medicare thang, isn't that done by that old coot that bitches that we need to eat our oatmeal too? Wilford Brimley? In those commericals when he'd basically be barking at his grand-daughter to eat her oatmeal, I always wanted her to say "You scare me, Grandpa, and you smell like feet" HAHAA

Posted on a fan board for the tv show "Project Runway."

Bitch List

Subject: the woes of why
Date: 2/19/2007 5:49 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

So, here's my vent list. You don't have to read, I'm just annoyed.....

why can't people say excuse me any more?

Why is it so hard to learn english? (It feels like nobody around where I live speaks english anymore)

Why is it OK for a person older than me, who was behind, to just jump in front of me and steal the cart I was heading towards, but not OK if I say excuse me I was here first?

Why do people let their 9458095809435804358-0435-04355.222 kids run around screaming in Target, Wal-Mart and nice resturants?

Why do older people feel that its okay to treat me like crap because I'm young?

Why is it OK for my best friend and her mom to think that they need to "save me" but it's not OK for me to say that I'm not interested?

Why is it OK for my best friends mom to openly disrespect me (implying I need to be saved) but it's not OK for me to openly disrespect her?

Why is it OK for my mom to act passive-aggressive, but she gets mad at me if I do it?

Why can't my mom figure out that I'm NOT the smartest person and I often overlook things like messes and clutter and I don't do it on purpose?

Why doesn't she understand that if she asks me nicely I actually do it?

Why did they invent Heelies? I HATE them and I just want to trip kids who whizz by me in the store and laugh at them when they fall.

So thats my bitch list.

Found on a debate board.

Zealots

Subject: Re: another look at research B VS B
Date: 2/16/2007 3:15 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>You can feel anything you want!
> I don't have any unhealthy emotions about breastfeeding! I simply
>don't think the same way all of your zealots do!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ::::: catching breath ::::: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA She called Natalie a zealot!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA You are SO far from the truth, whatever your name is! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Found on a breast vs. bottle debate board. Name has been changed.

Canine Family Planning

Subject: Re: Scrotum
Date: 2/21/2007 8:31 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

This whole dog scrotum thing reminds me of when my friend had her dog neutered several years ago. She had no clue what the procedure included. After she picked him up from the vet she called me and said, " Amanda, they took his balls out!." "I didn't know they were going to do that." She felt terrible. I asked her what she thought was going to happen. She told me she had envisioned a "doggy vasectomy" type of surgery LOL.

From DISI. Name has been changed.

Is It Possible...?

Subject: News
Date: 2/13/2007 7:49 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Hi. I was wondering if it would be possible to find out, by watching national news on television, what's going on in other parts of the country and the world. I know that Anna Nicole Smith was very important and did a lot of work for the good of others all around the globe and deserves a mention, and I realize there was a *chance* that the Holy Grail or the Ark of the Covenant *might* have been in her fridge.... but since they weren't, could I please find out, say, how the bloody war is going, or the Libby mess, or.... anything? Beuller?

Leila

Posted on DISI. Name has been changed.

Bitter Old Hagithas and Their Rude Comments

Subject: Re: just a quick question...
Date: 2/8/2007 12:11 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>Let me tell you the truth....no matter what you do bf or ff.....there is
>someone waiting to be rude about it. It's just how people are. This will
>extend to virtually every choice you make about your baby from how you dress
>him, to how you feed him, to basically any choice you make for
>him.....someone will have an opinion.

Ain't it the truth. When I first had Lena, some woman told me not to TICKLE her!!! I was enjoying my baby, who was happy as heck while we were grocery shopping, and she told me I shouldn't tickle her, it would make her stutter!!!

When you have a baby, you need to develop thick skin, someone is ALWAYS going to complain about something you do. For some reason people think the presence of a baby makes you open for critique.

When my Adam was about 10 mos old, I was at Costco. We had finished our shopping and we had all gotten some pizza. This bitter old hagitha came up to me and had the nerve to say that if I laid off the pizza, I wouldn't STILL be in maternity clothes. I lit into her in a way I am ashamed of today. Why I let that nasty woman get me into a tizzy I will never know. But you bet your bottom dollar she felt like a moron when I told her I wasn't STILL in maternity clothes, I was in them AGAIN. I was 5 mos pregnant with C at the time.

Allison

Posted on a parenting debate board. Names have been changed.

Cheese Tubes

Subject: The smelly smelly problem with "RETIRED" body piercing "CHEESE TUBES"
Date: 2/5/2007 9:07 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Aloha my comrades. Several years ago I had a few genital piercings done on myself. They were fun for awhile, wit the exception of what I called the "Stainless Stink";

...the "cheesey matter" that ALL piercings produce from time of procedure until the life of the piercing never ends. Your body secretes lymph and sebum and it doesn't take but a few hours to start working up a funk. The stainless steel jewelry seems to only enhance this vile, acrid odor. I bathed obsessively and still couldn't put a dent in the smell.

I could take it NO LONGER so a few years ago I retired the following:

1 00g PA,

2 reverse PA's,

several scrotals/hafadas, …and the worst of all,

a 10 bar "frenum ladder".

Now my penis and genitals are IRREVERSABLY riddled with fetid "cheese-tubes" [aka "Fistulas"; the flesh tube that forms beneath the skin when a piercing is healed.]

Every week I have to SQUEEZE CHEESE from ALL of these retired piercings; (You can tell it's time to harvest the cheese when they start to itch.)

Here's how we rock it:

1) Grip thine [flaccid] member with one hand and with the other GRIP the fistula at ONE END and "squeeze" it in the direction of the other hole, rolling it between your fingers to work the chesse plug toward the other end where it will exit. Be patient and take it slow. Even the lightest touch will leave you a "little sore" after you're finished purging your skin of this incredibly stanky material.

2) You will start to notice a little "pus worm/snake" start to ooze forth…(just like squeezing a big nasty whitehead) Continue forcing out the offensive matter until you reach the end of the tube. Resist [...or try anyway] taking a "sample" and rubbing it between your fingers to take a whiff of this fishy, provolone-smelling scuz. Trust me, it STINKS to the HIGH HEAVENS. You should ALWAYS save your squeezings onto a non-porous surface, for instance a piece of aluminum foil or the like.

...Why?

...I'm getting to that.

3) Take your collected squeezings and press into a single cohesive lump.

4) NOW you may indulge in the deep dark delicious world of "aromatics" [...if you're into such things.]; let it dry a little and grate, sprinkle on a "friends" food item or rub it on someones face, upper lip, underwear, spike their food with it while they're sleeping. You can also reconstitute it by adding a drop of vinegar and squeezing/massaging into the "mix"...gross? Well, take this into consideration:

Some "gastronomes" actually TREASURE this elusive substance as a light seasoning or flavor enhancer for a wide variety of finger foods and other sinful edible pleasures. Some of the men who "suffer" from this substance procreation have found sexual partners who actually enjoy the ripe aromatics of going down on a dick with this complex odiferous substance Strange but true, and there's a LOT more people out there that DO like to indulge in the fishcheese than would readily admit to! It's really not that bad!!!

The overall 'gist' of this post is to make you THINK before you pierce, because this is an UNREVERSABLE procedure and realize that you're gonna be making STINK for the remainder of your LIFE!!! You have been warned.

Enjoy aromatics!

PS: The most notorious "stinker" amongst male genital piercings is the Guiche'. A large gauge guiche will make a man's genitals smell like a WOMAN'S, hence the nickname "Fish-ring".

Discovered on a bod mod board.

Vendattas

Subject: Re: DREAM VACATION
Date: 2/4/2007 11:10 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>But you see, Rita has a personal vendetta against me.

>I'm sorry, but enough is enough. I couldn't care less about you. You sound like a nut IMO. If you want
> to come to this board and lie fine. But, no one here wants this crap. And as far as I see it, YOU have >the vendetta with me, not the other way around. You seriously seem like a nut to me.!!!..Sorry but you >do... ? all I keep saying to myself is?? What in God's name is wrong with this woman???

Gee................I think you forgot about how you had XXXX's picture in your profile for a couple weeks trying to mock her and be mean to her???. Calling her terrible names. How you emailed her and told her you worked for AOL in the Legal Dept...and you were working with the FBI to get information on me (Ilana) for criminal charges. And you tried to recruit XXXX telling her lies about me and my background.....then when you started getting pissy with her cause she didn't IM you or answer an email.....you totally lost it and went on the attack....how you then found Sandy and called her the "most wonderful woman you've ever met"....then a few days later you are calling her hateful, deceitful, mean, etc etc etc".....why? Cause she too started getting the emails and the IM's. And Anna.....how you got her fired from her job. How you started a fight with Agatha at Christmas cause you wanted to fight acusing her of being selfish and rude cause she was having poinsettas at her christmas open house and she was worried cause a guest was allergic to them and she didn't know how to handle it???? Remeber the names you called her for that? How you made fun of my son's looks acusing him of being an space alien cause he has a 'high and tight' haircut in the military and you thought his ears looked too big.....and started teasing this young man in the Army protecting us at home cause of his military haircut and foolish ears"? That was you............remember??????? REMEMBER?????? And you wonder why XXXX would tell you you seem to have a vendetta and you call her nuts????.......................Look in the mirror Rita...that's crazy!

And speaking of vendettas. You are still mad cause I stopped talking to you cause you were attacking Nancy.....and I had to draw the line with your crap. And you got so ticked off that I wouldn't answer your IMs and emails.....remember?????

SHIT you are nuts

Found on a fan board for "Project Runway." Names have been changed, screen names have been X'd out.

How to be Useful

Subject: Re: TEN WAYS TO TELL YOU'RE A LOSER
Date: 2/4/2007 5:54 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

I see your lips moving but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.
Take a step up to being a a**hole at least that way you would be useful.

Posted on the Tattoo Nation board.

To The Board Racist...

The following are two posts in response to a nasty little racist troll....

Subject: In regards to the board racist..........
Date: 1/25/2007 4:06 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

This board is in an unmoderated area of XXXXX. Regardless, should a complaint occur TOS/CAT is supposed to handle the situation with in a reasonable amount of time. As you all can tell they have failed miserably. I have been in contact with every lead I know and still this person is posting.

Some of his rants are illegal. Particularly the one likening reservations to game preserves, Natives the game, and the murder of Natives, population control. I certainly hope the screen name he uses is his actual name. It would be helpful for the authorities to locate him. Apparently they are also concerned about his posts where he claims to have shot people.

These posts have also been forwarded to human rights organizations in my area and if you have an office in your local area that deals with human rights, or more specifically the rights of Native Americans, I would urge you to do the same. Leaving the posts open to viewing by the public is criminal and no one should have to read rants of a racist advocating the murder of any race of people. Nor do we need some psycho coming a long, reading these rants, thinking he is God, then next thing you know Natives start dying. I've already lost one family member to a racist. I do not want to lose anymore else or have anyone go through the pain our family did. If XXXXX will not do the responsible thing by removing these posts, we'll just have to take the situation into our own hands and make this crime known to the public. The squeaky wheel gets oiled first, so let's see how much noise we can make.

This is not just some grizzly old fart making a mess online. This is a seriously ill racist advocating murder. If he were on any other board advocating the murder of a different race, I have no doubt he would have long since been taken care of.....

Subject: Re: is there any thing that i should kno...
Date: 1/29/2007 10:36 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Keep posting Frank. I've sent in all the crap you have posted
here. Did a brief search and found where you set a mosque
on fire. Boy did that get the feds interested!! I have been talking
to people about this all day, printing off some of your crap, and faxing it to others. You sure know how to get attention.I am so glad I've turned you in now, and can't wait to see what the future holds for you.I have to say though, posting about your crimes on various boards shows you are seriously lacking in the intelligence department. Usually I feel sorry for those who are lacking in
smarts. After reading the stuff you wrote, I just couldn't muster
the slightest mercy for you. You're a pig and I am glad I set the
ball rolling to get you OFF the computer and LOCKED away so you can't hurt anyone else.I saw all the ranting and raving you did. How you pointed fingers and labeled so many innocents as terrorists, but YOU are the worst type of terrorist there is. You're not fighting for anything. You have your freedom. You have religious rights. You can vote, marry, drive, and live where you want to. There is nothing you are lacking, other than common sense, but you still want to murder innocent people just because you are full of hate. You are a very sick sad sad man. I know there must be a special place in hell for people like you.

Posted on a Native American board. ISP has been X'd out, name has been changed.

Trolls in Our Midst

Subject: PLEASE READ
Date: 2/3/2007 9:23 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

Not quite sure just what's happening on this board but it really should stop. I've noticed we have a couple of trolls in our midst, which are easy to ignore. But I'm also referring to the level of disrespect lately. I've tried to post an array of topics which I think are fun and of interest to discuss. Of course not everyone is always going to agree, that's a given, and what a good discussion is really all about. However, why can't we still be respectful of each other, and quit the bullying and ganging up of others? Everyone should have the right to their own opinion, without being bullied. And an opinion is just that, an opinion, doesn't mean it's right or wrong. There's numerous message boards here to post on, all have their share of trolls and nastiness. This one was different however. It was a fun place to post and as a result, many of us developed friendships. If you choose to be nasty, I'm no one to tell you otherwise, that's your right. However, you will certainly end up posting all alone, because no one will continue to reply to you. Can we please be civil about this?

Posted on a fan board for the tv show "Project Runway."

UPDATE

Just a note to let my MBH fans know I have not forgotten them....unfortunately, my health has taken a bad turn and I've been unable to do much in the way of blogging recently. You can read more about what's going on at my other blog, The Zen Pretzel Trick. I thank you all for your understanding and patience in this matter, and hope to be up and blogging again within the next several days.

Deep Thoughts

Subject: Deep Thoughts
Date: 10/8/2006 4:08 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

These are from an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey."

"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?" --Age 15

"It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends." -Age 8

"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween." -Age 13

"For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out." -Age 6

"If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started." -Age 15

From a joke board.

Sound Advice

Subject: aint it cute
Date: 10/27/2006 3:26 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

NEVER LEAVE THE ONE YOU LOVE FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE BECASUE THE ONE YOU LIKE WILL LEAVE YOU FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE........

Posted on a teen board.

Take a Pill

Subject: Micheal J. Fox / Rush Limbaugh
Date: 10/26/2006 12:01 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Only one comment can come to my mind on the situation were Limbaugh accuses Fox of faking or exagerating the effects of his illness....
Take a pill Mr. Limbaugh !!!!

From a celebrity gossip board.

Meet & Greet

Subject: Alternative Lifestyle Weekend
Date: 10/16/2006 8:39 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

Not sure if there are any other single females out there who are like me. I enjoy playing (sexually) with out the connection and time that goes along with a relationship. It is hard for me to balance everything.
So I decide just to play every once in a while. This past weekend, I went with my girlie to a club called XXXX. It is an on-premise swinger club! I had so much fun. It was a hot swinger websites' night there~ XXXX~ they had a BlackOut Party! At midnight, they turned off all of the lights in the club. They had passed out glow sticks, necklaces, and bracelets to everyone. Some females, all they had on were glow sticks. It was hot. (As you can tell I am very openminded). My girlie and I met a couple there and we all ended up going downstairs to one of the rooms ~ and played together! It was a lot of fun!

Got some action, drank, danced, made it home safe, to my nice warm bed and passed out until 1pm the next day! Love the lifestyle!
Does anyone else participate in events, meet & greets, etc??

Found on a "confessions" board. Names of clubs have been X'd out.

Wishful Thinking

Subject: ---------------->
Date: 10/22/2006 10:34 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

If you're on the 'new' board, do those leaves on the XXXXX's ad look like pot leaves or am I just wishfully thinking...?

............*<:^~............

From a pop culture board, dude. Name of store has been X'd out.

A Vast Wasteland

Subject: A vast wasteland?
Date: 10/14/2006 2:12 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Has anybody else notice how disgusting TV has become? The movies ( esp SciFi channel ) and TV shows have become gorier, bloodier, much more pornographic and many times they don't even have a decent plot. I am no wallflower but I think TV has gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far. And I won't even start in with the amount of commercials. I don't even watch half the time anymore.

You guessed it! It's another great post from one of our favorite Hellions, The Question Guy!

The Skinny on Skinny Women

Subject: Re: babies
Date: 9/29/2006 5:14 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

> If you think that the poster who said skinny women can be bitches too, was
>playful, then you hold yourself and your gender in low esteem.

I don't get what your upset about though. Skinny women can be bitches, just as heavy, white, hispanic and the list goes on. Each induvidual has the ability to be a bitch....So why does that mean someone has low self esteem if they feel a person with a crotch is bitchy? If a man calls another man an asshole, does that also mean he holds his gender in low self esteem> no, I think he might really mean that that specific person with the penis is an asshole.
Now if you are discussing how women are refered to as bitches on videos, music, I agree. But I don't think being a bitch is a down-put to your gender unless it's done so in that manner.

Taken from a board debating smoker's rights.

The Cute Dork Dilemna

Subject: HOW TO ASK A BOY OUT?
Date: 9/30/2006 9:23 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

I REALLY LIKE THIS BOY PEOPLE SAY HES A DORK AND THAT I SHOULDN`T GO OUT WIT HIM I THINK HE LIKES ME BECAUSE WHEN WERE AT OUR LOCKERS HE MOVES SO I CAN GET TO MINE HIS LOCKER IS ABOVE MINE THATS WHY BUT I WANT TO ASK HIM OUT BUT IM NEW AT THE SCHOOL AND I DONT WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMONE THAT IS A DORK LIKE I SAID HE IS CUTE AND HES A FOTBALL PLAYER

Found on a teen board.

Ex-Jerk Husbands: Primer Needed

Subject: Re: books?
Date: 10/1/2006 2:01 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

I disagree with the above posts, and think you are trashing Mae needlessly. She is between a rock and a hard place here. If the ex-jerk wants to try & do a better job of co-parenting, then she needs to at least respond to his overture in a positive manner. She was just asking for some help. I've been in the same boat myself with my ex-jerk. While my ex did not pick up the ball after we made arrangements for him, at least our daughter knows we both tried. I suggest encouraging him & the gf to all go to group family counselling, or if he doesn't want to, then all have individual counselling sessions with the same professional therapist so that the therapist knows where everyone is coming from. Although my ex eventually refused to participate, my daughter, my 2nd husband & I have all gone to the same therapist, and it's been very helpful. Mae is trying to feel her way through this minefield - gee whiz, it's not like she got a divorce and then a primer on how to handle ex-jerk husbands. I've seen a lot of posting, repeated trauma that almost becomes whining, and repeated problems here over and over, so I don't know why everyone else with repetition problems should get a free pass and she should get raked over the coals. Give her ( and me ) a break.

Posted on a board for the "older divorcee." Name has been changed.

Dumb Moron

Subject: Re: CHARGERS BEGIN THE ANNUAL CHOKE ...
Date: 10/1/2006 6:19 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Well XXXX, I see you can't answer one simple question with name calling. See, the problem here is we Raider fans know our teams sucks pretty bad, we know we are not going to win alot of games again this year and the fans from the other teams will gloat...and that's because the Raiders have dominated their teams for such a loooonnnngggg time.....yes, the Raiders are in a big slump and we know why...Al Davis.....so until he dies or turns over total control of the team...the Raiders and their loyal fans will suffer. As far as the charger fans go I guess you have a right to do your little dance because you are what, 2 -1 on the season now? So, go ahead gloat because as Raider fans we know why you have to....but just remember one thing.....it won't get your team a superbowl ring or two or three....ever!

PS: XXXXX.....try and use spellcheck dude or get a dictionary...your poor grammar and spelling makes you look like a, what do you call it? Dumb Moron....yeah that's it, Dumb Moron. And, if you would....please answer my question....Are the chargers starting their annual choke early this year?

Thank you.
Still U a dumb moron ever as Stupid moron and U should know how more depressing in ur life Faiders been sucked long time since Superbowl lost .. And even Chargers whip ur faiders Azz 6 in row U dumb again ...

Found on a fan board for the San Diego Chargers football team. Screen name has been X'd out.

Morons in a Basket

Subject: Re: NOW I WANT TO SEE BARNEY FRANK R...
Date: 10/1/2006 2:19 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>I WONDER HOW HANNITY,RUSH AND COULTER WILL JUSTIFY FOLEYS ACTIONS. THEY WILL >DEFEND HIM SAYING ITS THE LIBERAL MEDIAS FAULT.

WELL THREE MORONS IN A BASKET LOOOOOOOOOOL THESE THREE ARE DUMBER THAN DIRT JUST LIKE THEIR IDIOT COURT APPOINTED MORON OF A PRESIDENT

Posted on a board discussing the Mark Foley scandal.

Lovin' the Caveman

Subject: Re: OT: Question O' The Week
Date: 10/29/2006 8:04 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

LOL..right now the commercial with the caveman seeing himself in an ad...lol...

I think I have a crush on the caveman. . .

From the Tattoo Nation message board.

Armpit Milk

Subject: Armpit milk?
Date: 11/1/2006 11:23 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

One of my very best friends just had a baby and has to express milk from her armpits! Anyone heard of this? Any links or info would be great!

._.~ßºß~._. Emily ._.~ßºß~._.

Found on an attachment parenting message board. Name has been changed.

The Unfortunate Eating Habits of Felines

Subject: Re: Pregnancy-Test Necklace?
Date: 11/3/2006 6:00 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>I know a mom who wears a small bag around her neck on a chain, and in it are small pieces of each of >her three children's placentas

Here's another eww. My mom kept my sisters belly button cord up on the kitchen counter top until one day when the cat ate it.

From DISI.

No Word For...

Subject: Re: END COLUMBUS DAY
Date: 11/4/2006 9:53 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>Native Americans had built great civilizations with many millions of people long before Columbus >wandered lost into the Caribbean.

>Um, they hadn't even invented the wheel yet

They also had no word for ATTORNEY.

NOW do you think they were backward?

From a Native American message board.

ESPN/Espen

Subject: Re: ESPN
Date: 10/10/2006 11:49 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

Wow, I don't even post on this board and yet my sons name was brought up? Yes, Espens name originated from ESPN. However, I chose to add the E so that it would be different and pronounceable. I have read the oringinal and replies to this post and everyone is entitled to their opinion. But, did you go searching the XXXX pregnancy boards to see if anyone had used this name for their child? My goodness, grow up!

Taken from a baby names board. ISP has been X'd out.

What?

Subject: Question?
Date: 10/20/2006 4:25 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

What is this board for?

Posted on a reality tv message board.

Judging & Prejudism

Subject: Re: tattoo's huh!
Date: 10/23/2006 11:03 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

judging !!! another form of prejudism eh. i'm so tired of it. GOD is the judge of us all.Be at peace with yourself and othere regardless. Love all walks of life and i'm sure GOD is smiling upon this statement.

From the Tattoo Nation message board.

A Little Addice Needed

Subject: I need so much advice, from someone who can really listen
Date: 10/22/2006 6:57 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

This is my problem..........Last night my 16 yr old son got into a fist fight with my BF. I do not know what to do. They beat the shit out of each other, and it was all I could do to get them to stop.
My son has been giving me problems now for the past couple yrs, and it gotton even worst when he started high school. His additude about everything really sucks. He has been getting into trouble at school, and even got into a fight that got him kicked out for a week. He is a very smart kid with every bad grades, he has gotton very lazy. I do not approve of all the kids that he now hangs out with. I know that he has been smoking weed (also smokes cigs), and he has also been drinking. When he gets into trouble at school I ground him, not sure what eles to do (not like I can beat his ass, he is almost bigger than me). He yells and cusses me, and back talkes alot. He also hates it when I make him do things around the house. He says that everything is unfair. He has had a GF for about a yr now and she just broke up with him. He has been grounded for about 2 months now, and I think she was getting feed up with not being able to see him other then school. I told him that that wasn't my fault, he was the one that got himself into trouble.
I was married to his step-dad for 10 yrs, and we now have been seperated for 2 yrs. He was good with the kids while they were growing up (they were good kids). After 10 yrs my husband decided that he was gay, and moved out. The kids (3 of them, 1 his) took it as hard as I did. But the thing is I wasn't coping with my life every well, and my kids started walking all over me. So I feel I am somewhat to blame.
A yr ago I got back together with someone from my past (my now BF). He said he didn't like the way the kids have walked all over me, and has done everything to help out. See he and I have a 13 yr old daughter together, so he is a part of my life that I can not just throw away.
My son has been stealing from me and my BF, and I know he has been doing it a while. But everytime I confrount him he lies about it. Well, last nights fight was due to the same thing, but he kind of got caught. I was asleep and they were the only to up, when my BF woke me to tell me about it. He told my son to give back what it was he took, and they then had works. That lead into them throwing punches. I jumped up out of bed and tried to break them up, but it took everything I had in me. I know that my BF shouldn't of hit him, but what was he to do (my son is bigger then him). The fught ended in a bloody mess, my son really messed up my BF face (he is a tough guy). Now I do not know what to do, I was up all night crying. My son now says that he wants to move out, and he wants me to have him amansapated.
I do not want this to ever happen again, but with them living in the same house what do I do????? I do not want to lose either of them. There really is so much more to this, but any advice anyone is willing to give me I would appreciate very much.
I do not have a whole lot of friends, I am a very quite person and keep to myself. I don't really have anyone (family or friends) that I can talk to. I haven't been on aol too long, but have been hoping to make some new friends to cat with and get to know. So if there is anyone who wants to chat and maybe give me a little addvice I would be so happy.
My name is Astrid and I live in Alabama
Please e-mail me at XXXXX

Found on a parenting board. Name & location have been changed, email has been X'd out.

Never Again

Subject: Re: Dangers of ppd mixed with Henna
Date: 10/13/2006 10:04 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

i got a henna tatoo when on a hoilday .never again i was in hospital a week i was really poorly with it. i am 50 years old you think i would have had more seince. i have five tatoos it is dangerouse dont do it

Found on a body modification board.

Try It, Like It

Subject: Re: Living arrangements
Date: 10/15/2006 8:32 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>So you're saying that how much you're willing to spend on a wedding depends on whether or not they >live with the guy? Are you also saying that you would put more value on your daughter's relationship if >they didn't live together before marriage?

I understand that way of thinking. Its your money, your choice. A friend of mine lived with her dh before they married and she said when it came time for her dad to give the toast he said:

"It used to be that two people got married to announce they wanted to try sex. Now they get married to announce they liked it! May you live long and prosperous! "

Posted on a parenting board.

The Booby Trap

Subject: Re: OT: E'S GIRLS NEXT DOOR
Date: 10/11/2006 8:10 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>If I see one more woman who plastic surger-izes herself into looking like some freakazoid Barbie doll I >am going to throw up! There is more to beauty than long, fried bleached blonde hair, fake boobs, >collagen-injected pillow lips and limited brain cells. What a bad example we are setting for our young >girls!

For you own health, do not move here to Southern California. You take your life in your hands just hugging one of these "Malibu Barbies with the big boobs".

My brother got married a couple of years ago and there was enough silicone in the room to raise the Titanic. Including the bride (My already FORMER sister-in-law) who had to get her bra at a shop called the "BOOBY TRAP"

What a world!

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

"Project Runway" Posts!

As you can see, the posts below all have to do with the hit tv show on Bravo, "Project Runway," which ended season three recently. Enjoy!

The Original "Outrage"

Subject: Re: NO ReRUNS!!--They Must Know Publ...
Date: 10/24/2006 7:12 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

THEY ARE PLAYING THE RE-RUNS IN HOUSTON...THE ORIGINAL'OUTRAGE' WAS THE LARGEST VIEWING AUDIENCE BRAVO HAS EVER HAD~ AND NEEDLESS TO SAY..ONE OF THE MOST TALKED ABOUT SHOWS EVER..OTHER THAN 'WHO SHOT J.R.'! ROFLMAO BRAVO IS IN IT'S GLORY!

Posted on a "Project Runway" fan board.

Self Absorbed Weird People

Subject: Re: etiquette lessons in his future?
Date: 10/25/2006 7:39 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

Are you kidding? Laura's dresses were works of art. Not many people could make even one dress as perfect as hers.

Everyone is down on Laura because her dresses only appeal to grown women. This is true, but no one over thirty would ever wear one of Jeffrey's designs. They would look ridiculous.

Why the double standard? I'll bet Heidi and Nina would wear any of Laura or Uli's dresses, but they would look stupid in any of Jeffrey's outfits. They're just too old.

I so agree. They would not be caught dead in a Jeffery creation. Why did they give him the win? I hate they turned me off PR. I was going to write Tim a sweet letter telling him how much I enjoyed his teaching but then he said he was estatic over Jeffery's win. I am completely disgusted with these self absorbed weird people.

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

Waist Out Time

Subject: ASK THE SHOW WHY?????
Date: 10/23/2006 2:01 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

As a view of PR, I feel so let down by this last season. If Jeffery did cheat, and I believe that he did, then what was it all about? Why did we waist out time watching a bogus TV show . Did the others on the show know that they were playing against a stacked deck? If you have a business and a line , then you are on there to promote your name, not to get a leg up as a designer, not to compete on a level playing field. If you are a professional already, with a staff, and people who can "design" for you and sew for you for the final showing, then how does that work as fair with the other players who are at home sitting at their machines, designing and sewing their "colections" one dress at a time. If they present with a line that you know could not have been produced by one person in the amount of time allowed, then they should be out. The judges dhould not be allowed to make fun of a designer jusst because he or she does not produce your style. I loves Kaynes Gold Gown, and it went for a lot on the auction, so the judges should eat their words. They were wrong on that one, And I don't know many people who would wear that "table Cloth" piece of work that Jeffery did....They said it was HIP andForward Looking, well as a woman with elegant taste, I wouldn't be caught dead in it, and I can only see a 15 or 16 year old in it for a prom with a barn dance floor. I will not watch the next season in the same way that I did this last one, I hated the first one, and only did the 2nd one after watching a day long show while I was sick with the flu so when they picked a regular person and not the punk I thought that I'd give it another try. I loved the Scarlett guy from the first season and when he went off and they kept that Jay guy I stopped watching, so I expected the Santano with the pottie mouth to be in the top 3 and he was, so I was not surprised when they kept Jeffrey as the freak of the week from this season.......but I really did not expect him to win, his stuff was too bad, the trashy, hooker looks were so far below Michaels classics, and Laura clean wearable things. I would have been glad to buy almost any of either of their designs, (Not the trash dress, that show is a joke) but the other things are great....I hated the Mom show, and I hated when they brought the 2 others back, it was such a let down , you could feel the energy just leave the room.....I would have been happy if they would have let it be the final 5, and had Jeff in there for the trash effect, but never did I expect him to winn, my goodness through the whole of the season the only thing that I had liked had been his newspaper dress, so I really hated his stuff.....I'd buy Michael, Uli, and Laura, and Kayne in a heartbeat......just tell me where to go. I wish that they would do updates on the other contestants who go off the show, I wish them well. But I am not sure I am up for another season of the freak, the talent, the fighting, and the disapointment with these judges.......show over

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

Get a Room

Subject: Re: LOL...I'll be watching....
Date: 10/23/2006 9:30 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

Get a room, and stop putting your ugly ass photos up.

Found on a fan board for the tv show "Project Runway."

Michael's and Macy's

Subject: Re: LOL...I'll be watching....
Date: 10/23/2006 5:23 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>With all the outrage..I bet very few designers have 'lost customers' here over the outcome!

Oh I doubt it too. They all do it for exposure (as redundant as that sounds as this point). But I do think Uli, Jeffrey and Laura have a great mindset as to what they want to do. Look at Santino from Season 2. He's designing some one-of-a-kind dresses (last I read). I would think that would be too limited and time consuming, even at starting prices of $2500. Both Jeffrey and Laura have said they want to go into a large market - possibly even designing patterns. As far as Uli, I think she'll get financial backing for her own label.

As far as Michael, I really hope he doesn't get into the fashion celebrity circuit because I think he could be HUGE on down the line after some guidance and experience. I know he said he thought he had found himself with this collection, but I don't think so. I think he has much more potential other than this "sexy, sophisticated woman" look he came up with at Bryant Park. Of all the contestants, I think he would have benefited most from the Macy's mentorship program.

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

Big Hat, No Cattle

Subject: Re: Spoiler**** 10/11 Show
Date: 10/5/2006 7:38 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

Laura is her 'own' woman for sure..I adore her personality, funnier than hell! Jay McCarroll is just one big, bad joke! He just had to become his usual jackass self to determine the winner by their ethenticity. As we say in Texas..Big hat, No cattle. He's replusive to me in everything I have had the misfortune to see on television about him...even his commercials! Consider the source..an ignorant slob!

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

On a Nickname Basis

Subject: Re: Nina and MKors know nothing about Fa...
Date: 10/19/2006 1:59 P.M. Pacific Standard Time

>Their age is showing if they think Jeff had the best collection--what with the Bozo circus green and >white stipe outfits/that dead tent navy blue dress and that sheer aweful gown

I am considerably older than all the judges, and I also thought Jeffrey(I don't know him well enought to call him Jeff) had the best collection The green and white striped dress was my favorite. Different strokes for different folks.

From a "Project Runway" fan board.

The Cheating

Subject: Re: Lost this viewer..and you?
Date: 10/20/2006 3:18 A.M. Pacific Standard Time

>lost this viewer, he cheated,I don't care what they said.He had help.

>Hey, everybody....posts like this one are exactly why I thought Laura should never have made the >accusation without proof in the first place. She claimed it wasn't about his "integrity," but that's >exactly what it's about. No matter what, this will dog him the rest of his career.

>---Yvonne

At the time, I thought it was okay that Laura raised her doubts. Now I see that those who questioned the fact that she had no proof were absolutely right. I am amazed that people will not accept the results of the investigation and continue to say he cheated. ITA with you, Yvonne.

From a "Project Runway" fan board. Name has been changed.